5 Ways to Help Cope With Grief

A big hello to my fantastic Famtastic fans! Wherever you are in the world, I hope that you have had a good week. We are well and truly back to everyday life after our brilliant adventures in Croatia. Our holiday was certainly memorable and like I said last week, all 5 of us remained sane along the way. (Read here for my tips on packing for a long road trip with kids!!) It’s nice to just be around home again after such a long road trip.

Nevertheless, this week I have found myself in a real funk. And no, I don’t mean funk and jive and groovy ‘60s music. I mean, I’m in a lousy mood. And I am not here to bring you all down with me. But I gotta speak what’s on my mind. Saddened, flat, down and grieving.

In the last weeks, within our wider circle of family and friends there have been not 1, not 2, but 3 members pass away. Three! Old, young, sick, healthy, foreseeable, shocking. Whatever. All of the above. And each one has been so intensely sad in their own way. In the same time period there has been some major setbacks for a number of other family and friends with life-threatening health conditions. In addition, several of these people live back in Australia, so it’s impossible for me to attend funerals or speak with loved ones face-to-face. All of which makes it even harder for this grieving expat to work through her feelings.

Really, it’s all just a bit too much. ☹ How does one even begin to deal with so much grief?

Coping with death is something that not many of us are “good” at. Maybe a beloved pet dying was your first experience of death. (I still remember when my first dog reached a ripe old age and passed away.) Or maybe it was a grandparent. But on the whole, for most people death is something we infrequently come across and aren’t aware of while we blissfully go about our busy lives.

No matter how happy, how healthy, how wealthy, how positive we are, at some point, bad news will strike. There will be loss. There will be sadness. There will be helplessness. There will be shock. There will be grief.

And when it does come, how are you going to cope? Everybody reacts differently to grief and there is no one right way to get through it. But taking care of yourself is extremely important. Even when you feel like the earth has fallen away beneath your feet and you don’t want to face the world or smile ever again. There are ways to make your way through the murk.

Tips for Coping with Grief

Let It Out

Grief affects each person differently. Whatever it is you’re feeling, accept it and let it out. Cry, scream, get mad, punch a pillow, write a poem, write a letter, listen to music you love. Do something. Bottling up grief helped no-one, ever.

Talk About It

Find someone you trust to talk with. Maybe they are grieving for the same reason as you and you can both talk through it. Maybe it’s a friend who has been through something similar (and come out the other side). Maybe you choose someone who is entirely removed from the situation and can listen objectively yet compassionately. Maybe it’s your mum. Maybe it’s your local church minister. Maybe it’s your pet parrot. Find someone, and TALK.

Give Yourself Space and Time

Grief can be emotionally and physically draining. Allow yourself time to heal. Rest. Meditate. Pray. Find something that offers you comfort, strength, peace and a chance to reset. Journaling is something that many people find helpful. Even just looking out each day for things you can be grateful for (no matter how small or unrelated to your situation) can be soothing and reassuring.

Engage in Some Activities

Whether this be work, sport, gardening or meeting friends, do try to have some semblance of your “regular life”. Any of these activities can be good for burning off stress, keeping you healthy and as a distraction from your grief. Enjoying an activity, or even laughing with friends does not equal dishonouring the memory of your loved one. Go and get out in the big wide world again.

Talk to a Professional

If all of the above just aren’t making you feel any better, or you know you need an extra boost to help cope with your feelings, then seek out a professional counsellor. They have seen and helped grieving people just like you.

Have I actually tried any of my own suggestions above in these tough weeks? Yes, I have. Pretty much every single one of them. The feelings of sadness and loss still come and go, but they are not dominating my days.

I found this quote recently, and I’m just going to leave it here…

Stay safe and see you here next week.

Have you had to deal with grief too? What helped you? We would love it if you were willing to share with us below.