Why Women Should Go Out with Their Girlfriends

Hi there! How has your week been? Did you try out those sewing instructions I shared last week? How did it go? Our week here has been a bit of a mixed bag. Master 5 has a nasty cold which has left him with a mild temperature, a few meltdowns and a helluva lot of snot. Our ambitions to tidy our household a’la KonMari have temporarily stalled. Hello! Lack of time! BUT we did make a trip to IKEA and stocked up on approximately 1000 storage tubs to assist us as we sort through the rumble that exists in a few corners of our house.

One thing that I have been getting excited about this coming week is an upcoming girls’ night. Huzzah! Catching up with friends is one thing that I DEFINITELY wish would happen more often. If only it could happy more often. Once again: Hello! Lack of time!

One of the lovely ladies I am actually meeting up with recently came across an article (in a German magazine) about why women should meet up with their friends more often. And since I, of course, agree 100%, I thought I would look into this some more and share some thoughts with you all today.

I mean, what could be better than being told that you SHOULD go out with friends more often?!?

About Friendships

I love having friends. I mean, who doesn’t? Female friends. Male friends. Both are great! And I find that there are many categories of friends.

There are those casual friends who you see occasionally, perhaps at some group gathering but you don’t tend to arrange to meet up one-on-one. You think they’re really nice, but somehow the “click” with them is not so strong. They kind of slip further down your priority list, not through any sort of malice. Usually just because there are only so many hours in a day and there are always a million things going on.

There are friends who you would see more regularly and love to make time for them in your calendar. You know you will always have a great time with them, regardless of whether you are out on the town or comfortably planted on their sofa with a glass of wine. You understand each other and can chat about anything and everything. Often all in the same sentence 😉.

Then, if you are an expat like me, it can get a bit tough. There are friends back home who you also love dearly and miss terribly, but see only rarely. Having the chance to see those friends is a real treat. You can start up exactly where you left off and know that your friendship won’t have changed much at all (even if you have. You can read my post about Reverse Culture Shock).

Friends are Good for Women’s Health

So where does that article fit into all this anyway? Well, in the article it was written that women’s health and well-being can be improved by regularly meeting with their female friends. It mentioned a study conducted by researchers at the English University of Oxford. Several health benefits were reportedly found in the study: general contentment and happiness improved; anxiety, depression and recovery time from illness were reduced.

It sounds wonderful! It all makes sense, right? When you get together with good friends, you chat, you laugh, you cry, you debrief, you destress, you catch up on news, you complain about stuff, you swap stories, photos, whatever. It’s always fun. We humans are social animals, after all.

Research has shown that laughter is, if not “the best”, then certainly good medicine. For example: here or here (just try to ignore the risk of jaw dislocation and stress incontinence 😉).

Talking with a trusted group of friends can help alleviate stress, which in turn can reduce feelings of frustration, anxiety and depression. (Just check out any reputable mental health website). Experiencing less negative emotions and stress will, naturally, improve general health.

What Does The Study Actually Say?

Being a curious sort of person (who studied psychology at Uni), I went a-googling to see if I could find a copy of this magical study and find out more. Nope. I used search words on the University of Oxford website and their press centre. Nothing. I searched the internet using keywords like “Oxford Uni Women Health Study” or “Women Should Go Out More Often” or “Women Friendships Health”. Nichts. Nada. Niente. Heh?!?

I found a stack of blogs with titles like “Why Women Should Go Out Twice a Week with Their Friends”. All of them referenced a “recent” study and it’s author (Robin Dunbar, who you can in fact find on the Oxford Uni website and who actually does conduct social psychology research). All of them stated something like “Researcher Robin Dunbar said bla bla bla vie email to [insert name of some important sounding newspaper]”. Sure, many of these blogs even included links to said newspaper or “the study”.

But not one single link took me to THE STUDY. The links were either invalid (the dreaded Error 404) or took me to the correct newspaper site but to an article with a similar theme but from 2013. What the?!?

So basically, I can’t tell you exactly what the study says! Go do a search yourself if you don’t believe me! Perhaps I am a doofus and you actually do locate this study. And if you do, PLEASE post the correct link in the comments section below. Because now I am going crazy in my scientific method mind wondering is this some sort of “going viral” thing that no one can really substantiate or accurately cite.

Who Cares? Friendships are Great!

But you know what? None of it even matters because this study does not influence my own personal behaviour. This study isn’t going to make me change how I interact with my friends.

I love meeting up with my friends as often as I can manage it. Which is certainly not the “recommended” twice a week of this alleged study. But when I do, I make the most of it. Brunch, dinner, movie, wine, no wine, walking, sewing class, chocolate, no chocolate (Who am I kidding? There pretty much has to be chocolate involved!), weekend away, whatever. All are good.

You know what I am getting at though, right? Proven health benefits or not, meeting with true friends just makes you feel… happier, brighter, energised, and don’t forget grateful.

How often do you meet up with your friends? Do you usually go out in a group? Or one-on-one? What is your favourite thing to do when with your friends? Share below!