Mama Gets a Time-Out

How are you going? Have you had a great week? Me? I’m doing OK. The weather is trying to improve- hooray for sun!- and my kids complained their way through the one *sweltering* 20°C (68F) day we had. I also had to chase up my doctor the other day to find out why my knee was still hurting. Turns out I may just have myself a torn ligament. So it’s off for an MRI next week for me. Oh yay. Wish me luck folks!

But for now, I get to focus on something else. I get to enjoy some time to myself. Alone. And that makes me just a little bit immensely excited and happy like a bouncy little puppy dog.

Let me start by saying: I love my husband and I love my kids. A lot.

I also love time spent alone. This is not the same as being lonely. That for me is a state of feeling sad because nobody is around. But sometimes I CRAVE time alone. I want a quiet house. I want the house to stay as tidy as it was this morning. An hour ago. Heck, even 10 minutes ago!

I want the chance to do whatever I want. If that means tidying up without interruption or turning around to discover a brand new mess, so be it. If that means dancing around my kitchen to will.i.am, then bring on the dance party! Maybe I’d nap, or catch up on some reading while sitting outside in the sunshine, or lose myself in Pintrest, or drink a couple of glasses of Sauvignon Blanc, or start sewing new clothes for my kids, or cook up a meal of linguine with prawns (that would be “shrimp” for you North Americans 😉) that I know no one else in my family would dare let pass their lips, or… I’m getting dizzy just fantasising about the possibilities! *sigh*

You see, we mums are NOT robots that can function caring for our families eternally, without pausing to care for ourselves. It does NOT mean we love our families less, or are neglecting them. But there are only 24 hours in a day. And if all your waking hours are spent caring for, cooking for and feeding, transporting, disciplining and entertaining your kids, there is not a moment left to care for YOURSELF. And if you don’t look after yourself, who will?

Not taking time for yourself to breathe, relax and regroup leads to not just exhaustion but also stress, feelings of resentment, withdrawal, mood swings… The list of negativity goes on. Do you know what I mean? Go on, try and tell me you have never experienced any of these!

So…. This weekend, I have the house to myself. For like, about 30 whole hours. My husband has taken our 3 kids to visit his mother. Sure, I could have gone with them. I also know that the last few weeks have been very busy and intense here at home for me (multiple run-of-the-mill doctors and dentist appointments; new school enrolments; multiple sport training sessions; some big financial decisions; a serious illness in the family; husband away overnight for work; …). And I just needed a break.

Is this what people call a “mummy time out”? If so, I am happy to take this “punishment”, LOL.

As I have said in previous posts, we don’t have any family nearby, so having a babysitter at the ready is not how we roll. So, my husband- thoughtful as he is- made me an offer I was more than ready to accept: that I stay home and he take the 3 kids away for a night to visit his mother. So off they drove into the sunset. Well, you know, down the road and on their way. And I jumped on the sofa with a notepad and took the time to plan my weekend.

I planned to: work on my blog; nap; enjoy some wine alcohol-free beer (Remember? I gave up alcohol for Lent); read some out-of-date TIME magazines I subscribe to and the latest Rachel Hollis book; take a long bath; sew; watch more motivational coaching videos from Brendon Burchard to help me continue growing; discover just how badly my SLR camera got damaged when it hit the ground (*ouch*); do approximately 1000 loads of washing; and reply to some messages from friends I have been neglecting (Sorry dear friends!! You are important to me!!)… Amongst other things. *Phew!*

I would NEVER get through that wishlist with anybody else in the house! Why not? Distractions. Demands, Noise. Interruptions. Schedules in the calendar. Playdates. The phone ringing. You name it.

I know that I cannot be the only person who has this going on. I know I am not alone. And neither are you. Do you get what I am saying here?

I also know, how invaluable it is to get that break from it all. I deserve it. You deserve it. You NEED it. Your family needs you to look after yourself. Like you probably have heard a million times before but have possibly not yet internalised: you can’t look after others if you don’t look after yourself. Just like the safety talk on a plane: put on your oxygen mask before helping your children with theirs.

Your time alone relaxing, refreshing, reflecting and rejuvenating acts like the oxygen to fuel you when family duties call again.

Over time I am getting better at asking for this time off for myself. For expecting this for myself. It’s not selfish. It’s self-care. And I really notice the differences it makes when I get this time for myself. I feel more satisfied. I feel calmer. I feel like I achieved things that are good for me, that are important for me, that help me grow.

The point I am trying to make here is, if it isn’t already abundantly clear enough: make time FOR YOU. Ideally every day. If just for an hour. Or even just 10 minutes. However, long weekends are great too 😉

A final shout out to my Hubby and kids: thank you for making it possible for me to rest and rejuvenate this weekend. I know you all had a nice time at Oma’s. I had fun here too. And now we all come back together feeling ready to take on the new week! Go Team!

My questions for you are: do you already carve out time alone to rejuvenate? How often? Is it difficult to get that time for yourself? What is it you do with your time? How do you feel afterwards?