It’s Like Culture Shock, But in Reverse

As you probably already noticed, I was missing in action for a few weeks. This was because my family and I (all 5 of us!) flew from Germany back to Australia to celebrate Christmas last month! I am still here in Australia and thought “Hey! Why not keep on writing about my experiences here?!?”. And so I shall…

I LOVE being back in Australia. There are so many awesome things about being here: my entire extended family, old friends, the weather, the hot summers, the long, sandy beaches, foods of my childhood, restaurants serving awesome, international-flavoured delights, driving on the left (yes, left!) side of the road, I can speak English all the time and be understood, the cute and furry native animals, the wide open blue skies …

But, and this is a big BUT… it is not entirely easy or without complication coming back here. And I am not talking about the humdrum yet stressful things like: How the hell can we afford to fly there? or Seriously, will we be able to fit everything in the suitcases? or Is the school going to really reject our request for the girls to miss the last couple of days of school?

No, I mean the practical and emotional effects of

Reverse Culture Shock. Yes, it’s an actual thing. If you were an expat who returned back home you would know what I am talking about. (**Fun Fact** #1: You’d be called a repat 😉). But for those who have no clue about what I am on about let me briefly explain.

So What is Culture Shock?

Culture Shock is often used to describe the emotional and practical adjustments you make when you leave your home country (for work, for love, for travel, for study, etc) and settle in a new land. You can feel disoriented, overwhelmed, uncertain and anxious. Depending on the country you end up in some things like the language or season may be the same as back home. Or it could be that everything from the food to train timetables is completely, confusingly (infuriatingly?) different. Over time, expats move through a recognisable series of phases starting with excitement and euphoria, through to irritability and impatience and eventually adjustment and integration.

Now that I have cleared that up for anyone who was a tad uncertain, let me now talk about the topic of Reverse Culture Shock. It is real. I am currently only experiencing a bite-sized piece of it, as we are here on holidays and not actually repatriating. But I assure you, I definitely experience symptoms of Reverse Culture Shock every time I come back to Australia. Yes, even taking into account the long- albeit incomplete- above list of things I love about being here.

and now for Reverse Culture Shock…

When someone experiences Reverse Culture Shock many of the emotions and effects are the same as what happened when relocating abroad beforehand. So it’s Culture Shock, just in reverse!

**Fun Fact** #2: I keep wanting to say the word “overseas” instead of abroad, because as an Australian, the only way to get to another country from our wee little island down under is literally over seas! If I use the term “overseas” somewhere in this post, at least you know I really am talking about “abroad” 😉.

To continue… when you move to another country, there is this expectation of things being different to home. Even excitement that things will be different and new. Ah yes, the great unknown! Sure you can read the guidebooks or look up various websites for hints or talk to your mates who backpacked there once, but you’ll never GET IT until you hit the ground in your new country.

When you return back home, you think you know what to expect. You don’t need to read a guidebook. There are uncountable memories, experiences and familiar places, plus your native language, family and friends, favourite supermarkets etc etc. All those positives come flooding back into one happy, comforting bubble and any annoyances have generally been forgotten. A bit like those “back in my day [insert thing] was better” type of memories. Back home you know how it all works, right?

But here’s the thing: it’s not the same place as you left it and neither are you.

Go back and read that again! It completely makes sense when those words are written down. To anticipate that this is the case and really understand this is not a given. Perhaps you learned a new language abroad, or had your heart broken, or started a new career, or witnessed how those less fortunate live, or had 5 kids, or learned how to live without plastic, or started a new exercise program, or changed your political leanings, or altered your personality to more comfortably align to your new host culture. The possibilities are endless!

I can almost guarantee that every expat would have become more independent, better at decision-making, better at connecting with strangers and better at problem-solving. You probably developed thicker skin and learned how to laugh at yourself more. All of these type of skills are called on time and time again in a new, foreign land!

You changed and grew and experienced new things. So did everyone else that you left behind. You probably just changed in different ways to these family and friends. But it can make some BIG strains and challenges to even the best relationships. Friends have had more kids or divorced or even moved cities, the roads are different, your old suburb looks more crowded, your friends don’t eat at that fave Thai restaurant anymore where you used to love dining together, your family talks about local issues that you have never even heard about, or you hear “What?!? You haven’t ever seen [insert name of TV show]?”.

So when you return home, either to repatriate, or just for an extended holiday (as is the current case for me) it can be really hard to imagine just how much “home” doesn’t necessarily feel as comforting and known as it ought to. Hence the Reverse Culture Shock. Suddenly there is another life to compare “home” to. You have learned that there are other ways to do things than the way you have always done them growing up. Despite all the love you have for your “home”, there can also suddenly be a lot of surprising irritants. Which then in turn feels sort of destabilising, like everything you thought you knew is actually wrong.

Tips to Make Coping with Reverse Culture Shock Easier

So how do I cope with Reverse Culture Shock, when things are kinda right back home but at the same time also not quite?

1. I give myself time and grant myself patience, not just to get over the jetlag (!) but also to get my feel for the place again.
2. I phone and meet with family and as many close friends as I can, who I know are supportive even if they cannot truly imagine what my “other” life is like.
3. I also stay in contact with my close friends in my “other home” (Germany), to know what they are up to and they me.
4. Try to remember the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”, ie when feeling frustrated about how things in Australia are, reminding myself that not everything in Germany is necessarily better.
5. I keep doing the things that are important to me- like reading, photography, exercise, writing, (can’t sew here though- no sewing machine!!) – which help me to keep my sense of, well… me 😊.
6. Tell my tales of foreign life to those who are interested in listening. But also remember when to stop talking 😉.

And on that note, I am going to stop talking!

Have you moved abroad and then returned home either for a holiday or permanently? How did you feel? How did you cope?

I would love to hear your opinions and experiences! Why don’t you share below in the comments section 😊